Home > Personal Thoughts - It's Not Always a Mystery, women over fifty > Would We? Could We? by Debra H. Goldstein

Would We? Could We? by Debra H. Goldstein

Would We? Could We? by Debra H. Goldstein

Picture a group of women sitting around a fireplace celebrating a special event in their lives.  Good food, friends, sips of wine, and conversation that slips from the present into the past.  While most share memories of happy times, children’s antics, and first romances, at some point in the evening the stories begin to be tinged with sadness and frustration.

Patches of the group become silent – lost in individual thoughts of what might have been.  It doesn’t seem to matter if the thoughts center on marriage, children, friendship, or career.  The questions are the same.  “Would we?” “Could we?” “And why didn’t we?”

The answers are consistent, too.  Time pressures, immaturity, being pulled in too many directions, trying to please everyone, and ignorance that anything was amiss or could be better are all excuses offered.

Awareness comes slowly.  We realize we tried.  The thought that none of us may have done it perfectly but we acted in the only way we knew at those times warms us almost as much as the new bottle of wine we open and drink.  We raise our glasses in a toast:  “We would.  We could.  We did.”


  1. August 14, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    Excellent post, Debra! It is easy to berate ourselves for what we should have done. So much easier and kinder to simply accept that we did the best under the circumstances. Pretty good is good enough.

  2. Anonymous
    August 13, 2013 at 9:08 pm

    And we still do.

  3. Cheryl
    August 13, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    You could not have said it better!!!! But if the timing were different, the paths would not have crossed.. Blessing!!!!

    • August 13, 2013 at 8:43 pm

      Definitely a blessing…….and thank you for your comment.

  4. Rhonda
    August 12, 2013 at 7:45 am

    Thanks for putting into words what we all think at one time or another.

  5. August 11, 2013 at 10:38 pm

    What might have been. Yes, I bet most of us have thought that at some time or another, and like you and your friends, we came up with the same excuses as to why we did what we did in the past. When those moments hit me, I think to myself, “You did the best you could with who you were and what you knew back then.” We all need to learn to forgive ourselves. At least we tried.

    • August 12, 2013 at 9:28 pm

      Hopefully those moments are few and far between as we forgive ourselves. Mary, thanks for stopping by.

  6. August 11, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    You did indeed! And a lot to be proud of.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: